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the loner​(​s) / drive me home please

by the loner(s) / drive me home please

supported by
Dakota Sillyman
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Dakota Sillyman Every track is perfect. Favorite track: miss.
steve c
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steve c melancholic, classic, legendary. i don't feel so alone anymore. (fav loner(s) track: drinking fountain) Favorite track: apple cider vinegar.
Tom Kohn
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Tom Kohn phucc i love this so dang much Favorite track: how to.
sweetmilkman
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sweetmilkman This was a great find! Favorite track: haha shit.
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1.
wish i could talk to you wish you could talk to me too wish i could say your name without feeling like i do scared of you i don't wanna do this again miss walking in the snow i miss the places we go i miss being your friend i miss being around you i just wanna be your friend
2.
can't keep friends around me maybe i should get a fucking friend-leash drugs could help me be there for me you can't help me when i'm lonely you start going backwards now
3.
i'm hyperventilating under the drinking fountain because i'm thinking about what to say to you at this point david's not hi the afterschool crowds roll by and i am thinking about how to be ok.
4.
i know you hate me like i do i can see it there's something wrong all the time i can't see you do i scare you my eyes all bugging out it's just a habit now even when i'm feeling well i like you but i don't know how to i don't know anyone at all not even you now i'm boring you or i creep you out but you still come around guess i feel better now
5.
what do you do when you come home to a fire what do you do when you don’t know how to cry how do you talk to anyone if you don’t think that what you feel is really anything it’s hot in this house and it won’t get any cooler i don’t know why i still feel twisted in my stomach there’s nothing i can do to control it im burning up and i can’t get out pour water into me and hope that that can drain something out because im afraid that if i don’t learn how to connect that you won’t know me before you leave me but i need you to scrape me clean because i don’t know why i am who i am there are knots in my back that i’ve never thought about i like to pretend that they’re something like yours but to tell you the truth i don’t know what my back looks like i’ve never seen it but i know what it feels like
6.
can i come home tonight? can i sleep in my bed? just tell me it will be there, empty and waiting for me tell me that you’ll love me no matter what im feeling now will you let me sleep in tomorrow? will you be there when i wake up? can i tell you how i’m doing and tell you what i’ve done? will you always be proud of me for the things that make me feel like i’ve accomplished something and become worth something real? mom please drive me home because i know that this one place is one that i can count on where it will really be okay when i’m out of college, will i still be a kid? will i still need direction and will i still need my friends? if im all alone again will i need you to come get me and bring me to the place where everyone i know i love if i lose the one who’s closest to me, will i make it through? if i’ve never gone through pain like this will i even know what to do? if i find myself alone like that and can’t be by myself can you please drive me home and hold my fucking hand
7.
not sure if i’m moving forward or backward but im starting to see things in me that look like what it means to grow it hurts and feels bad and no not in the romantic way there’s nothing beautiful about crying it just makes you feel alone but i’ll find some way to not feel so cold in this state i really hope you can relate because when i lose that then on that day i will really know what it means to be alone yeah until the day you tell me you don’t love me like you used to i’ll still find some speck of beauty in it i’m feeling like trying something new, because letting myself go is what led to you and i started making friends again i might not see them after this year again but at least i learned how to connect, or at least i am learning and trying to grow but i know i can’t do this alone, because everything i learn is from seeing myself fuck up and hurting someone that i love but if i end up alone and can’t love anyone then i’ll slowly fall back to my nest and ill forget all these knots how they strangle my chest and i’ll be ready to die alone, yeah ill be ready for anything, i’ll be ready for anything, numb to fucking everything, ready to die alone but don’t let me live that way, don’t let me die like that separate and ready as long as you hold me close, in the physical way or just let me know that you are thinking of me you know that im thinking of you, and if you dont well im telling you now that i haven’t stopped in months i’m trying not to put up a front because now i know that that just makes everything worse and i need you to know how i feel, and i’m ready to be vulnerable, or at least i’ve already let myself be please tell me you still want to raise a dog with me

credits

released March 25, 2016

album artwork by ivanna masera

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Bangkok Blend Rochester, New York

Bangkok Blend was created to explore something else; the inherent promise in the availability of the means of production.

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