1. |
the loner(s) - miss
02:49
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wish i could talk to you
wish you could talk to me too
wish i could say your name
without feeling like i do
scared of you
i don't wanna do this again
miss walking in the snow
i miss the places we go
i miss being your friend
i miss being around you
i just wanna be your friend
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2. |
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can't keep friends around me
maybe i should get a fucking friend-leash
drugs could help me
be there for me
you can't help me when i'm lonely
you start going backwards now
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3. |
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i'm hyperventilating under the drinking fountain because i'm thinking about what to say to you at this point david's not hi the afterschool crowds roll by and i am thinking about how to be ok.
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4. |
the loner(s) - how to
03:53
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i know you hate me like i do
i can see it
there's something wrong all the time
i can't see you
do i scare you my eyes all bugging out
it's just a habit now
even when i'm feeling well
i like you but i don't know how to
i don't know anyone at all
not even you now
i'm boring you or i creep you out
but you still come around
guess i feel better now
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5. |
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what do you do when you
come home to a fire
what do you do when you
don’t know how to cry
how do you talk to
anyone if you don’t think
that what you feel is
really anything
it’s hot in this house and
it won’t get any cooler
i don’t know why i still
feel twisted in my stomach
there’s nothing i can
do to control it
im burning up and i
can’t get out
pour water into me
and hope that that can
drain something out
because im afraid that if i
don’t learn how to connect
that you won’t know me
before you leave me
but i need you to scrape
me clean because i don’t know
why i am who i am
there are knots in my
back that i’ve never thought
about i like to
pretend that they’re something
like yours but to tell
you the truth i don’t know
what my back looks like
i’ve never seen it but i know
what it feels like
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6. |
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can i come home tonight? can i sleep in my bed?
just tell me it will be there, empty and waiting for me
tell me that you’ll love me no matter what im feeling now
will you let me sleep in tomorrow? will you be there when i wake up?
can i tell you how i’m doing and tell you what i’ve done?
will you always be proud of me for the things that make me feel
like i’ve accomplished something and become worth something real?
mom please drive me home because i know that this one place
is one that i can count on where it will really be okay
when i’m out of college, will i still be a kid?
will i still need direction and will i still need my friends?
if im all alone again will i need you to come get me
and bring me to the place where everyone i know i love
if i lose the one who’s closest to me, will i make it through?
if i’ve never gone through pain like this will i even know what to do?
if i find myself alone like that and can’t be by myself
can you please drive me home and hold my fucking hand
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7. |
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not sure if i’m moving forward or backward but im starting to see things in me that look like what it means to grow
it hurts and feels bad and no not in the romantic way
there’s nothing beautiful about crying it just makes you feel alone
but i’ll find some way to not feel so cold in this state
i really hope you can relate because when i lose that then on that day i will really know what it means to be alone
yeah until the day you tell me you don’t love me like you used to i’ll still find some speck of beauty in it
i’m feeling like trying something new, because letting myself go is what led to you and i started making friends again
i might not see them after this year again but at least i learned how to connect, or at least i am learning and trying to grow
but i know i can’t do this alone, because everything i learn is from seeing myself fuck up and hurting someone that i love
but if i end up alone and can’t love anyone then i’ll slowly fall back to my nest
and ill forget all these knots how they strangle my chest
and i’ll be ready to die alone, yeah ill be ready for anything,
i’ll be ready for anything, numb to fucking everything, ready to die alone
but don’t let me live that way, don’t let me die like that separate and ready
as long as you hold me close, in the physical way or just let me know that you are thinking of me
you know that im thinking of you, and if you dont well im telling you now that i haven’t stopped in months
i’m trying not to put up a front because now i know that that just makes everything worse and
i need you to know how i feel, and i’m ready to be vulnerable, or at least i’ve already let myself be
please tell me you still want to raise a dog with me
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